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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185689">Depression Kills</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonluvr/pseuds/dragonluvr'>dragonluvr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCIS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:35:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonluvr/pseuds/dragonluvr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Depression Kills</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It has been six months since that fateful incident that ruined his life and his career. Standing looking in the mirror he can still see the black eye the man he loved with all his heart and soul gave him, the man he thought loved him but threw him aside like a piece of garbage. He didn't mean for what happened to happen he was just so glad to be saved by the man he loved he didn't consider the consiquences of what he did.<br/>
He remembers it like yesterday and relives it day after day. He can't sleep because he still has nightmares about it. He didn't realize how much it would hurt but his heart is in a billion pieces and will never be whole again. He looks at the man he sees in the mirror and realizes he has nothing left to live for and no one will ever care if he is dead. No one will miss him. Not his family, not the agency and certainly not the man he loved and still loves. But that is all over. He has been thrown away like the piece of garbage he is. The depression and self deprevation has left him empty and hollow inside. He feels nothing but the overwhelming sadness and emptiness in his life and his soul.<br/>
His mind drifts back to that fateful day. They had been working on a serial killer case who targeted men and women in the service. They were hot on his heels when he turned the tables on them and he was caught in the man's crosshairs. I don't remember how long the rape and torture lasted but when the team finally rescued him it was what happened after that that sent him into the downward spiral he finds himself in.<br/>
I remember it clearly. They burst in to where I was being kept after killing the perp. They covered me with a blanket  and began to release my restraints. Once both my arms where free I grabbed him and kissed  him long, hard and deep. When I broke the kiss I could see the anger and rage in his eyes and thats when I realized my mistake. No one on the team was supposed to know we were seeing each other and I had kissed him in front of the whole team.<br/>
"Everybody out." he said the anger evident in his voice and on his face. "I need to speak to my agent alone."<br/>
Once everyone had left and the door was closed he turned on me " Do you fucking know what you have done? Well let me tell you since you don't seem to have a brain in that head of yours! You just outed me and yourself to the whole team and by the end of the day it will be all over the agency that we are nothing but a couple of big fags. My God! Did you stop to think about what you were doing and where and in front of whom?"<br/>
"No Boss I was just so happy to see you and to be rescued. I wasn't thinking."<br/>
" Well that much is evident. Now I want you to get the fuck out of here go be checked out and we will discuss this later. Do you understand me?"<br/>
" Yes Boss." I said not able to meet the man's eyes that I loved.<br/>
He finished releasing me and then walked to the door as he opened it " I don't want to see you till your checked out then I want you off my team and I will be requesting that you be transferred to a different NCIS team preferably where I don't have to look at your wortheless, useless ass. Your nothing more than a waste of space. I don't want or need a worthless faggot like you on my team and if it was up to me I would can your lazy worthless ass. Not get the hell out of my sight." he screamed as I slowly walked past.<br/>
I looked at my former team mates and they were doing their best not to laugh or snicker as I passed. My shame evident on my face as I couldn't meet any of their eyes.<br/>
Once I was checked out I got some scrubs and left to go back to my apartment. After wards I went back to the yard and began to clean out my desk as I was never going to be a part of this team again and if the Boss had his way I wouldn't have a job. I had waited till they were all gone before going back to get my things and to clean out my desk. Fortunately they were all gone for the day all that is but Ducky who as I was getting ready to leave caught me.<br/>
" Why are you cleaning out your desk son?" he asked.<br/>
" Because The Boss is going to transfer me and if possible have me fired for kissing him today in front of the team."<br/>
"Oh! My dear boy. I am so sorry. I thought you and Jethro were happy? What happened besides your kissing him in front of the team?"<br/>
"I don't know Ducky but he has been distant lately and I think he found someone who isn't a royal fuck up to be with."<br/>
"I thought you two were so happy together. I am sorry to hear this son."<br/>
"Thank you Ducky but I need to be going and Please take care of Jethro for me. I do love him and always will."<br/>
"I have my word on it son. But don't you think you should tell him?"<br/>
" I don't think he wants to hear it and I know he doesn't want to ever see me again. He told me that much."<br/>
With that I turned and left. I finally got the courage enough to go talk to him yesterday. I got out of my car walked up to his door turned the knob only to find the door locked. I knocked and waited. When he finally answered I could still see the anger in his eyes.<br/>
Before I could say anything he lit into me. " What the hell are you doing here? I told you I never wanted to see you again! Did I not make myself clear enough for you, you wortheless piece of faggot shit." With that he hauled off and hit me in the eye.<br/>
"Maybe that will make it clear enough for you! Now get the fuck off my property before I do worse and then call the LEO's and have you arrested for tresspassing." he screamed at me.<br/>
Seeing the fury in his eyes and on his face I just turned tail and ran, jumping into my car I sped as fast as I could.<br/>
That was just a day ago and the bruise around my eye has turned to a black eye.<br/>
I look back towards the bedroom and see my gun laying on the bed without a thought I walk in and pick it up off the bed with the tears rolling down my cheeks I put the gun to my temple and pull the trigger.<br/>
Finally the pain is over. No one will ever miss me or care that I am gone. These are my last thoughts as the bullet tears through my brain as my life is ended.<br/>
No one cares and no one will miss me but the pain is over.</p>
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